Daddy and I just got back from Agway. We keep the Christmas tree behind the house next to the chimney until we're ready to put it up. I like putting on the tinsel. I love the pine smell. I don't know how the cats can stand the cold. Their metal water dish is frozen. It has dents it it. My dog Sparky is happy to see me. He doesn't seem cold. The Kerosene stove in the kitchen is really warm. Rambling with Gambling is on. Daddy is going to make pancakes. He told me to pick up my toys. Uncle Ken gave me his Lionel train. I play with my dump truck in the sand at Cy Fox's lumber yard. I have bulldozers, too.
--Rachel says I have to eat but I'm not really hungry.
We're going to Nanny's later. Our station wagon is big. Nanny keeps peppermint candies in a metal dish. Her Christmas tree is small. She stays in the chair because her ankles are swollen. Uncle Ray will be there. He reads a lot. I like reading. Dad is done with the wash. He has to empty out the big tub. Now I can have pancakes. We went to Confession last night. I lied three times. I felt like crying for some reason. The manger scene has animals around baby Jesus. The incense smelled nice. Then Mrs. Engeln called so I rode my bike to the bakery to get the leftover bread and donuts again. I had frostbite but I ate two crumb buns on the way home. The river is frozen. They put floodlights on the bridge to light up the falls and the mill wheel.
--I have to go burn the garbage but Rachel keeps trying to feed me these pancakes.
My friend is named Dean. He has a dog called Andy. Dean and Chris and I go camping down the railroad tracks. Chris doesn't have a father. Dad said Dean sweeps the porch better than I do. Dad gets mad a lot but he takes me to work at Mt. Kipp sometimes. The breeze blows through his office even on the warmest days. Our family is different. We stay with Aunt Helen in Lambertville in the summer. Aunt Helen told everyone that Jimmy always comes back from the butcher with the best cut of beef and exactly the correct change. Joey Skillman and I gave a trumpet concert to the family in Nanny's back yard. I played Bridge Over Troubled Water. We charged 25 cents each. I caught a 36-inch carp with Uncle Walt. He told me to set the hook but I didn't know what that meant.
--Rachel says if I don't eat the pancakes then I won't have any more to eat until lunchtime.
Eva, Mary and Ellie are boarders at Mount Saint John's. Johnny and I take the bus. BJT-896 that was our license number. 735-7837 that was our phone. 33½ West Main Street. I called Eva a fucker. Dad told me that I will have a tough row to hoe in life.
I went to high school in Phillipsburg. Dan was my friend. I was shy. Pat was my girlfriend. We both had Mustangs. Mom W came to my graduation at Fort Jackson. That I do remember.
--Rachel is nice but she treats me like a baby.
Cy Fox's lumber yard burned down. Did I tell you that Nanny's in a nursing home? They don't call it a nursing home but everybody knows. Joey Skillman died in a car wreck. 18 years old. Dad had stomach cancer. He wasn't afraid of dying but he worried about us kiddies. I checked his pulse but he was gone. Brian and I carried his body. Chris died, the Viking prince. Prostate cancer. Nanny, too. Aunt Helen. Uncle Ray. Mom W. Uncle Walt. Cool air wafts over the family plot overlooking Lambertville.
Carefree children laughed and ran/with not a burden other than/the nettle's sting or rainy day/a mother's comfort miles away.
This nurse Rachel thinks I don't know where I am. I know exactly where I am. They don't call it a nursing home but everybody knows. I'm sorry for going on and on. Thank you for coming, dear friend. It's just that I'm a little tired at the moment.
